We have all learned by now that trying to keep up with the Joneses is no way to live.
Yet, we have this ingrained barometer that ticks off when we hear or see someone with something more than ourselves.
Because we view money in relative not absolute terms we are often irrational in our thinking. We are wired to be “loss averse.” It hurts more to lose money than to win money. At the same time we don’t treat money equally in terms of our “feeling about it.”
Which would you choose,
- Win $50 at Bingo or
- Have $50 cut from your phone bill.
It is the same $50, but we don’t see it that way.
On the other hand when we pay with a credit card we get to experience the pleasure of buying without the pain (yet) of what it will cost. Using this rationale, the Money Gurus tell us to automate the same process in reverse—set up automatic deductions for taxes, IRA, Health Accounts, Savings so that we can use this same system to our advantage. Once they are set up we rarely change them.
Other defaults might include, telling your mortgage broker to contact you when rates drop ¾ to 1 percentage point below what you have now. If in fact, you can refinance you might save thousands of dollars over the course of a home loan.
Some research shows that when an employer automatically enrolls a new hire into the retirement plan, participation increases dramatically. If not, we just get lazy.
Finding ways to set up these defaults will increase your feelings about your financial situation and move you in a positive direction.
Combining our need for social interaction with our need for social well-being is a great step in increasing your joy in life. Rath and Harter, in their book Well Being, talk further about the risk of dying from heart disease or getting sick is twice as likely for people who have few close relationships. Close relationships affect our health and well-being and even more so if they are in close proximity.
Studies show that people who have a best friend at work are happier. Since you are around people at work – a lot of the time – make an effort to develop good, fun relationships in which you share, support each other, and laugh together.
If you work alone, reach out, get out, network, and engage socially with friends and family during your waking hours. This can include electronic forms of communicating with others through emails, facebook, twitter, and on the phone.
The past few months this need for pure social interaction has become even more evident to me as I work alone much of the time. To counteract this, I have reached out to some woman I like and connect with who are also working alone. Monthly we call each other to just talk, chat, catch up and share. No agenda, no goal, no purpose other than to enjoy each other and share. Albeit this isn’t daily and is virtually, it is something I look forward to and makes me feel good long after our conversation.
In fact, Harter and Arora at Gallup have collected data from over 140,000 Americans and asked people to tell them if they had a great day or a worry/stressful day. They correlated this with the number of hours spent with friends and family including on the phone, emails, and social networking. They discovered that to have a good day, the daily recommended dose of social time is 6 hours per day. The implications are fascinating for increasing your joy in life and decreasing stress. Remember this includes work and home time, in person, electronic, and telephonic interactions
Excerpt from upcoming book, Courage and Croissants, Inspiring Joyful Living
As our book is coming into the final finishes I am happy to share with you the section on Life Guidebook Tips.
The following tip is one of my favorites as it says you don't have to have it all figured out, you just have to have a feeling, a dream, a hope, a sense and as you lean into it, let the breeze take you towards something wonderful.
Enjoy and let us know what you are dreaming of and willing to lean into as well.
Guidebook Tip #15: Lean into creating the life you want to live
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Take the first step in faith.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step.
Martin Luther King Jr., Legendary Civil Rights Leader (1929-1968)
Having a clear vision is one of the best motivators for creating the life you want to live. However, sometimes we just aren’t that clear. We have a fuzzy idea, a sense of what we want, and a hope that clarity comes to us sooner than later. Similar to painting a fantastic landscape we don’t know exactly where it is going to take us, but we are willing to continue to put layer after layer of paint on the canvas.
Even without a vivid vision, you can start to live the life you want by going with the idea. Just start and let the momentum take you with it. Experiment, let it guide you, learn along the way, and use the feedback to clearer on the direction you want to go.
A few tips for leaning into the life you want to create:
Create Momentum
- Be willing to start without seeing what the end result might look like
Simply start doing what makes sense and let the next logical action present itself to you.
If you have always wanted to run a marathon. Start by walking, run a few steps, and before you know it you might be running a mile, joining a running club or training with a group. A variety of options will present itself to you if you just start.- A fuzzy idea or dream is a great place to start.
Springtime is my favorite time of year when the sun shines, the days get longer, the flowers bloom and it’s my birthday. Springtime is a time to clean out, clean up, and declutter our selves spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. It is the time of rebirth and putting a bit of spring into our step. 
As Oprah wrote about in her latest issue of Oprah Magazine, “it is time to declutter.”
A terrific way to start March. Following are a couple of suggestions on bringing more health, joy, and good feeling into your life both in business and at home.
Clean out closets, file cabinets, boxes, junk drawers, and email inboxes.
Clothes: Make a pile to give away, sell to consignment or repair/tailor
- Get rid of anything that you haven’t worn in a year
- Get rid of anything you don’t like, doesn’t make you feel good, or doesn’t look good on you—Be brutal!
- Organize your clothes by color and toss half the black sweaters that don’t fit right.
Drawers:
- · Throw away the old files that aren’t critical (ie. Financial and tax documents). If you haven’t used it in 2 years clean it out and only keep the most important
- · Work files are often useless after 1 year. If you can get it on the computer, internet or web get rid of it. It only holds you down
- · Pretend you just lost everything in an earthquake or flood, what do you really wish you still had?