Recognize what is not working

The beginning of summer is the perfect time to look at your life with fresh clean eyes. What in your life is no longe working? What doyou truly wish you could change, get rid of, or move away from?

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Wayne Dyer

Western culture tells us to keep on pushing on: run faster, do more, never give up, keep going, push, and push some more. The paradox is that the harder we push, the more resistance we encounter. In fact, the definition of insanity is “to keep on doing the same thing, expecting a different result.”


If you are paying attention, it is easy to recognize whether part of your life is not working. The hard part is taking the time to stop and assess if it is time to do something different. Is it time to stop pretending, stop pushing, and stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? 


Once you stop and analyze the situation, you may realize there are many alternatives to the way you’ve been living, and at least one of them may be worth a try.


Even if you are at the top of your game as Oprah is, it may be that you just need a change, a new challenge, and a new dream. On the other hand, you may recognize that something isn't working because of the negative energy you are feeling and the lack of energy it provides. Whatever the reason the longer you wait to make a change, the harder it becomes.


A few ideas for assessing what is and is not working in your life




1.  Identify what is no longer working for you (and your family or partner).


Either alone or with a partner, family member, friend or professional, discuss what is no longer working. Following are some questions to guide your discussion.


  • What aspects of your life are no longer working? Is it a part of your life or the whole package? 


  • What do you feel fed up or done with? 

  • What in your life is working well? 

  • What is it you want to stop doing, or do more of/ less of/ differently?




 2. Get clear on what you dream of doing differently


Have a discussion based on the following questions:


  • What is missing in your life that you want to create? 

  • What does your dream look like? How would you know you have achieved the dream you want? 

  • Will the change you wish to make move you towards what you want in life? Will you always regret it if you don’t give it a try? 

  • Will the change bring you long-term gratification or just short-term satisfaction? Which are you seeking? 

  • Is the dream something that empowers you? 

  • What is calling you?


 3.  Identify fears, limiting beliefs, and “should”s.


Have a discussion based on the following questions:


  • What fears are you going to have to face to create what you want? Are you willing to face them?

  • What limiting beliefs do you need to address to make a shift happen?

  • What seeming obligations, or “shoulds,” will you have to eliminate in your thinking? Are you willing to replace them with your dreams and desires?


 4.  Learn about what it takes to make changes in your life, and gather the support you need


Read books, listen to recordings and watch programs that will inspire and motivate you on your journey. Surround yourself with supporters and eliminate naysayers.


A few of our favorite books and CDs are:


  • Your Heart’s Desire, Using the laws of Manifestation to Create the Life you Really Wantby Sonia Choquette. A sixth sensory look at how to create what you want in life.

  • Transitions by William Bridges. A small classic on what happens as you go through a transition.

  • Personal Power and Awakening the Giant by Tony Robbins. We have listened to the Personal Power CDs over and over again.


Living a healthy joyful life is as much about recognizing what isn't working and making changes as it is about changing habits and creating dreams. If you are feeling stuck, exhausted, tired, and depressed, turn it on its head and ask yourself, is this just not working in my life anymore? If the answer is a resounding yes, it is time to take steps and make a change.