Coming of Age Challenge #7 National Mythology Exams

Zoe-Pascale has a love of Mythology and for a "stretch intellectual" challenge she participated in two National Mythology Exams sponsored by her school. Each exam is given to students from 6-12th grade  with Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Certificate Laureates. 

Rereading all of her mythology books, taking some practice tests and sharing her love of Mythology she won two awards this month. It is a combination of knowing the basics, like the Iliad and Odyssey and some specialities such as this year themes on Malicious Monsters and Monstrous Mortals. 

Medusa Mythology Exam -- Zoe received a Certificate Laureate  which means she received between 29-33 correct out of 50

National Mythology Exam - she received a Silver Medal, meaning she got about 96% correct answers. 

Congratulations to Zoe-Pascale for taking on this extra challenge (but one she actually loved).

Coming of Age Challenge #6 Change and Transition

As William Bridges describes in his various books on Transition. Change is what happens to things and Transitions are what people go through. The three phases start with 

• Ending the Old
• Neutral Zone
• New Beginnings

This month our entire family has gone through a major change by selling our home of 15 years. The home Zoe-Pascale was born and raised in (except when we were in France) and the home that gave us great joy. Our decision, like all changes, was mixed, but overall felt like it was the right thing to do so that we could make some shifts in our life we were looking to do. To help Zoe (and all of us) go through this transition we are moving through the process. A process that you don't have a choice to do or not, but how you do it, is the key. 

Ending the Old

For months we did talk about selling the home and involved her in the decision and our plans both temporarily and for the future. The adventuress she is allowed her to see the possibilities and process what it meant to let go of her small bedroom, gorgeous view (the major loss) and feeling of comfort. Last weekend we went back to the empty home and each talked about what we loved, thanked the house for all that it had given us and did a little dance. A few tears were shed but the ritual of letting go as Bill Bridges speaks about is critical. For anyone to truly move on we celebrate these transitions through rituals and celebrations (i.e. marriage ceremonies, bat mitvahs, retirement dinners, graduation ceremonies). 

Neutral Zone

The neutral zone is interesting as it is a time of creativity, chaos (my kitchen) and possibly depression if you are not watchful. To help us all and especially Zoe move through this period we ended up renting a townhouse for the year that gave her some of things she desired as a growing teen. Her own bathroom, walk in closet and large room with bookshelves lining the walls for all her books. Her desire was to decorate it like Royalty. 

The night we moved in we surprised her with the beginning look of a Royal bedroom -- gold bedspread with Euro pillows and royal green, purple/pink, and gold pillows. Soon there will be a sheer canopy and more royal type accoutrements. 

Organizing the house quickly, her study area and taking time to enjoy the pool and jacuzzi has been key. 

The research says that to get through this phase quickly, put temporary systems in place until it settles in. For us, a dip in the jacuzzi and a walk with the dog through the gorgeous Eucalyptus trees is moving us forward. Organizing ourselves the night before (so we can find everything in the morning) and making the extra bathroom a place to store my files for now reduces someone yelling "Where is my stuff?"

Our goal is to keep the creativity high as she moves through this phase which she is doing miraculously. All she really wants to know is where is she going on vacation!

New Beginnings

She is seeing the possibilities of having friends come to swim and walk to Starbucks in near by Mill Valley. 

Our commute to her bus is now 3 minutes vs. 15 minutes and her room is expansive, fit for a queen.

We have a beautiful (albiet not as grand) view towards Tam Valley, the Richardson Bay inlet, and through the Eucalyptus Trees and the townhouse is shaping up. We've grown from small closets and bathrooms to walkins and double sinks and an attached two car garage. We've cleaned out, simplified, donated, sold, and continue to get rid of clutter.

A sense of new opportunities and choices are in the future.

Transitions

This story of Transitions is the most critical learning I have ever had both in my professional work with organizations in transition and with my family. It is a simple model but one that does work and a challenge for everyone!

Coming of Age Challenge #5 Africa up close and personal

Africa up close and personal is both an adventure, a luxury, and a once in a lifetime experience. Zoe's fifth challenge took place in Southern Africa during our visit in April. Overall the theme was immersing yourself in a different culture. 

Interacting with an African Elephant

Most elephants in Africa are truly wild. Get between them and their baby or water and watch out -- a few people have been trampled. However there are a few new enterpreneurs who have figured out how to train elephants and have them help society by uncovering landmines in Angola and Mozambique and finding lost hikers. Between their sense of smell and memory they never forget!

Zoe got the opportunity to interact with a variety of African elephants such as sitting on their knee, touching their tongue, their hair, lifting up their heavy foot and taking a game trek on the elephant. 

Challenge: Big animal, small person 

Playing with a baby White lion and tiger

This baby white lion is about 3 months old and is an endangered species. In fact, white lions cannot survive by themselves in the wild  and therefore return to other game parks or sanctuaries. Just like a cute puppy until she scratches!

Meeting new relatives

Meeting all her South African relatives was a treat but also a challenge she soon found out.. Her new 3 and 4 year old cousins speak Afrikaans and she had to soon learn a few words to communicate. 

Hiking in the Bush

Eating new African Dishes made over the fire

Potjie is a special dish that startec when the Boer Trekers moved inland from the cape. They took with them the three legged pot and made a dish with corn as the made staple every night. This dish is a favorite of many South Africans who all have their own special recipes. 

Game Drive at Kruger National Park

Kruger National Park is the size of England with hundreds of different types of animals and birds. 

Over the course of a few days we saw over 58 species (mostly with African names) drove miles, sat and watched hippos bathe, wild dogs sleep, monkeys play, baboons stare, giraffe flirt, elephants lumber, guinea fell peck, wart hogs run, springbok jump, birds sing, and buffalo hold their ground. 

We were lucky enough to stay with our cousins in a stone house adjacent to the park. Everyday we'd venture out, stop and have a picnic in special areas and continue to drive for hours. It was all in the spotting and the watching. When you finally spot a buffalo, elephant, or giraffee it was a glorious moment. Sadly we didn't see any lion this time, so we shall return. 

Coming of Age Challenge #4 - Money

Money is a huge challenge no matter what your age. In asking friends, how they learned about money, most people respond, "By watching my parents." Not exactly the perfect scenario in most cases.  

In thinking about this, we realized it is a process that will take time, a long time as kids mature and recognize what money really does and what it means to each of us personally. 

A couple of activities we are engaging in for this challenge:

1. Investment Class -- we enrolled in an adult education investment class that in retrospect was a bit over Zoe's head, but did get her thinking. The result --a purchase of Nickelodeon stock for $100.  Overtime she hopefully will learn how to choose a stock and when to keep and sell -- something that we can all learn how to do better.

2. Shopping -- Last week she took $60 of her own money and went to a movie and shopping with a friend. Sitting separate from the girls at the movie, we watched as they came back from the snack bar with two extra large cokes in their hand. I looked at Jean and said, "Who buys an extra large coke (let alone a coke) at the movie?"  We laughed and thought-- a teaching moment on how to spend and waste money.  Her friend then came over and gave us one of the cokes. Okay, generosity trumps wasting money. 

Note to self: talk to Zoe about what movie snacks cost and why you want to bring your own. 

The next two hours they ended up shopping in Claires, a safe and secure store for 12 year olds where they could get alot of value for their money. Upon meeting us they proudly showed off their purchases; earrings, a purse, a fake ponytail, headband, matching bracelets, and scarf. Zoe proudly showed me 6 crumpled receipts all from Claires. "Look how many receipts I have." she said with utter pride.  We smiled. 

Note to self: Walk through all the receipts and add up what she spent. Ask her if she is happy with her purchases and expenditures. Remind her that next time she should tell her friend to bring some money too. 

Salaries:  This past month she has been researching salaries and has realized that certain professions definitely pay more. This has translated into seeing what the future can hold or not.  She came home today and told a story that her friend thought a $30,000 salary is good. She said, "I wanted to say that is minimum wage. You can't live on that. I want to do what I love and make good money. I have dreams."

Just knowing it made us realize this discussion of money goes far beyond budgeting, investing and spending.

Note to Self:  Keep discussing different careers and that you have to like what you do in order to sustain them

The challenge of learning about money continues and it is amazing how little we know unless someone actually teaches it to us.  For many adults, it is Suze Orman who is teaching us, but for our kids, we can continue to learn right along with them and help them to see the choices we make regarding how we spend, earn, and invest our money are all around us and in every many things we do, say, and choose.

Coming of Age Challenge #3 World Religions

Note: If you are unaware of the Coming of Age Challenge, Please Go To "What Is The Coming Of Age Challenge" and learn how you can have fun and help your daughter, nieces, and friends move into teen years with confidence and pride.

Beginning a tour of World Religions was our challenge for Nov and Dec (okay we combined two months - it was a busy time). Our goal was to expose Zoe to different types of religions in a light and easy manner. 

Stop 1; The Buddhist Zen Center at Green Gulch at Muir Beach, Ca.

One Sunday a month, the Zen center has a children's program to accompany the adult service at Green Gulch. Hidden deep in a valley off Shoreline Drive on the way to Muir Beach is the Zen Buddhist center and retreat. Beautiful and simple Japanese type buildings house visitors and residents. After parking in the dirt lot and walking a couple hundred yards to the central building, we took some time to wander through the majestic garden in which they supply food for the famous Greens Restaurant in San Francisco. The garden connects to the Golden Gate Recreation Area trails and a few minutes on to Muir Beach. The tranquility and quietness is pervasive as you hear the birds sing and the flowers even hum.  

During the children's service, Zoe made prayer flags that were hung up in the dining room and ate natural muffins with zero preservatives or sugar. She loved the simplicity of the morning and the fact that we her prayers would float off the flag into the sky and be heard. Meanwhile, we attended the adult service and heard a great parable about how life is a struggle and that every aching bone is a reminder to move forward and enjoy the now and treat each other with kindness. --- Need I say more.

Stop 2:  Grace Cathedral Church, San Francisco - Men and Boys Choir

The Men and Boys choir are beautiful wherever they perform, but to listen to them at the grand Grace Cathedral is like being in heaven. The closest thing we have to a Notre Dame, it is a beautiful and special place to hear wonderful singing. Zoe and Jean arrived early (I was out of town) and sat themselves in the fourth row shifting their heads to look at the beautiful stain glass. Once the choir started, everything settled down and the music transformed the listeners. Zoe leaned against her dad and took it in and said at the end, "There must be a God, to create that beautiful music."  

Stop 3: Jewish Studies

Zoe has begun to study Jewish history, prayers, and hebrew with a private tutor with the idea of having a Bat Mitzvah at some point. Our purpose is truly to educate her in a simple way that engages her. The teacher we found is perfect and has lively debates, tells stories and meets her where she is at. We have always celebrated the Jewish holidays and often light the candles on shabbat, this next step is to give her some understanding of her heritage so she will have a connection to who she is and her roots.

Stop 4:  We will continue with a few other experiences as time goes on as these are experiences that will widen her understanding of others and the world around us.