Closing one option
The week in France was a whirlwind of emotions and reactions to the possibilities of moving back towards Montpellier and making an income. After a few signs of the reality of life, the challenge of the French tax system, and the realization that our heart was in the countryside, our creative corner of St. Quentin we reneged on resubmitting our carte de sejour and recognized that maybe the south of France was for our time off and retirement and not for fulltime work life. Was it our own limiting beliefs? Or was it the truth that maybe, just maybe when you have to work everything seems different? At times everything seems to flow beautifully and at other times the signs just aren't there. Having made most decisions in our life based on thinking and rationale thought, trusting our feelings is hard to do. Yet when they are so strong, there isn't truly any other choice.
The sadness we felt showed up in terms of a few breakdowns, tears, laughter, and having long leisurely meals with friends. Our walks in the country, by the sea, and under the Pt du Gard reminded us of what we love and are so grateful for having had experienced. At the same time, nature and beauty is also in our backyard in Marin and a million other places in the world.
Jean and I both realized how this week was another week of grieving and yet we knew we had to begin to close a door or two to open some new ones. And so the journey continues.